yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
