She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
