Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
