was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
