So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
