is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
