Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
