My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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