How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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