good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
My cat gives me a boner
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
