Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
They took my balls.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
