Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
