it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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