can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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