shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
