If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
