Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
