dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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