i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
