i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
