I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
