It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
