mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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