i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize