My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I will be naked everywhere
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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