The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
