haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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