I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
