I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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