Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
