dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
