Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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