So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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