He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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