Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
