in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Randomize
