dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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