i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
