he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
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