new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
