He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
