No stitches, just platelets and will power
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
