well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
