So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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