I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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