it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize