I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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