my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
