OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize