A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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