Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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