pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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