I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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