Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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