clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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