you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
