Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
