$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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