Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
