wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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